We Would Do Anything For Your Photo But We Won't Do That

Dear Mr. Costner,
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery. We prefer to think that flattery is the highest form of flattery. However, sometimes incessant, unabashed flattery can be somewhat petrifying. Often times fans take their flattery to frightening extremes. With that in mind, it occurs to us that you might think that we are batshit insane. Another in the long line of celebrity obsessed stalkers. Well, that's the last thing we want you to think of us. We'd like to quash those notions by simply stating what we will and will not do in order to get you to take a picture of yourself at our site. It's sort of like that Meatloaf song where he says that he would do anything for love but he won't do that, though you don't really know what "that" is. Well it's not like that exactly because we're going to tell you what "that" is. Though, this isn't for love, it's just for a simple photo.

Meatloaf wouldn't tell her what "that" is, but we'll tell you.

So without further ado, things we will and will not do for a photo of you

-We will watch Chasing Dreams
-We will watch Sizzle Beach, U.S.A.
-We will watch American Flyers
-We will watch Bull Durham
-We will shower after a workout at the gym
-We will watch Dances With Wolves
-We will watch JFK
-We will look both ways before crossing the street
-We will watch 3000 Miles to Graceland
-We will watch Dragonfly
-We will call our mothers on a regular basis
-We will watch Open Range
-We will watch Message In A Bottle
-We will brush our teeth after every meal (maybe not every meal)
-We will watch 13 Days
-We will go on vacation to Vermont this weekend. There's going to be a hot tub!
-We will watch the deleted scenes on the Big Chill DVD
-We will watch The Postman
-We will concede that you probably get the point by now and will stop naming all of your movies
-We will certainly respect you and your body of work no matter what the outcome of our attempt is.


-We will not go to California.
-We will not go to any state where you may take up residence with the express goal of forcing you to go to our site.
-We will not audition for a role as an extra in your next film...we're not very good actors
-We will not contact your publicist or agent (if your publicist or agent contacts us that's another thing, as we will most certainly call them back)
-We will not contact any other publicists or agents who might know you
-We will not contact any of your costars or friends
-We will not watch 13 days for 13 days in a row
-We will not attempt to be present at any of your local movie premieres or appearances.
-We will not go near your house or place of residence
-We will not start hanging out with Ashton Kutcher in the hopes that one day he'll bring you around.

Last but certainly not least, We will not stop posting until you send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog or at least not until we get tired...But there is very little chance of that happening, seeing as we live very active (and non-obsessive) lives outside of I Blog It They Will Come that keep us fit both mentally and physically. Plus we've got plenty of canned food, bottled water, and supplies to last us at least until spring. So the ball is in your court Mr. Costner. You see we're all about a grassroots movement here at If I Blog It, They Will Come and spreading our cause via word of mouth in the hopes that news of our cause comes your way. We could easily make phone calls and try to make contacts, but that is not our way. We would prefer to charm you through our wit and tireless effort. Sort of like your character Ray Kinsella in Field of Dreams, when he tries to abduct Terrence Mann (James Earl Jones) at "gunpoint" when it really was just his finger in his jacket.

Mr. Costner, our finger is in our proverbial jacket. Won't you come along today by sending us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com? No big rush. We'll be here tomorrow.

Sincerely,
The Folks at If I Blog It They Will Come