Robin Williams Predicts The Super Bowl?

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

Super Bowl Sunday is but a few days a way and we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" couldn't be more super-excited. Our favorite team, The New York Football Giants, made it to the big dance this year and we can't wait to watch them compete for the title of World Champions this Sunday. Despite our faith in our big blue brethren, we are aware that they face quite the obstacle in a New England Patriots team that some people are calling "THE BEST TEAM TO EVER PLAY THE GAME".

We're not quite sure we'd hand them that title yet, but one thing's for certain, we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" will expend all of our energy on Super Bowl Sunday rooting for Eli Manning, Michael Strahan, and company, though we hate to be complete homers when making our Super Bowl Prediction. We take prognostication very seriously and as the current focus of our site is currently none other than you, Robin Williams, we asked ourselves, "How would Robin Williams view this game and who would he pick to win?"

In light of the recent discovery that Eddie Murphy predicted the Giants NFC Championship victory over the Green Bay Packers in his 1988 comedy Coming To America, we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" decided to scan through footage from Robin Williams films in our possession to find a comparable prediction for the matchup between the Giants and Patriots, this weekend. Unfortunately, we came up empty handed after countless hours of reviewing our favorite flicks. The closest we came was when Reno and Jack were trying to find out the score to the Monday night football game while having dinner with their wives during The Best of Times, and that didn't even involve either of the teams in question. In lieu of this unsuccessful attempt at finding a harbinger of things to come, we decided to use the power of reason to figure out your prediction.

We figured that with all of the work you've done with the troops overseas and you would certainly consider yourself a Patriot and thusly would root for a team named The Patriots. We combined that with our knowledge of your stellar catch at the end of The Best of Times and assumed that you would predict the game would be won by the Patriots on a play with similar dramatic flair. After that we just took a wild stab at the final score being...Patriots 28, Giants 23.

While it would break our collective hearts that our favorite comedic talent wouldn't pick our favorite football team to win, we know the Giants like to be underdogs and this would only serve to add more fuel to their competitive fire.

In any case Mr. Williams, if you disagree (or even if you agree) with any of our assessment of how you would view the upcoming Super Bowl between the Patriots and Giants, we'd love to hear from you. All you have to do is send us an email to us at djayek@yahoo.com, if you feel so inclined...and don't forget to include a photo of yourself looking at our blog. Thanks for your time and consideration on the matter.

Sincerely,
The Loyal New York Giants Fans at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

The Healing Power of Laughter

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

The events that transpired last week brought an overflow of sadness to the good folks here at "If I Blog It They Will Come". While sadness is certainly not a medical condition, we sure wished we could conjure up the cure for all of the negative feelings that were weighing on us.

It was then that we remembered back to your 1998 film Patch Adams, and how it taught us that laughter is indeed sometimes the best medicine. While it may not take all of the pain away, it helps to make us feel human again. Maybe that's why we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" identify with Patch so much. If you were to ask us why we blog...we'd probably give the same response Patch gave when asked why he wanted to be a doctor... we want to connect with people.

Each time we write a new post here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" it feels as if we're saying hi to a complete stranger for no good reason or putting one of those red rubber enema balls on our nose just to bring a smile to someone's face. We might even be shooting imaginary squirrels. Our ultimate goal is of course to get you to visit our blog, take a photo of yourself looking at the blog and eventually send that photo to us at djayek@yahoo.com...and we're certainly not quitting on that. We know it's not going to be an easy road, but anything worth doing is difficult. Does that sound familiar? We learned that from Patch Adams too (which is not the name of the sequel). Besides, it's not like we're asking you to fill an entire pool of spaghetti for us. We just want one photo.

As always, we're leaving it up to you to decide whether or not you want to participate. Just know that you have our eternal respect either way. Thank you so much for time and consideration and as long as you keep spreading the gift of laughter, so shall we. You'll probably still view us as a thorn, but we promise you one thing. We are a thorn that will not go away....until we get a photo of you looking at our blog anyway.

Sincerely,
The Enema Bulb On Our Nose Wearing Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Heath Ledger 1979-2008

Dear Loyal "If I Blog It" readers,

Heath Ledger was never the target of an "If I Blog It" mission, nor had we ever mentioned him in a post up until today. That's not to say he wouldn't have been a worthy subject. Heath was a tremendous actor with all of talent in the world and his best performances ahead of him, which indeed is saying a lot considering the aplomb with which he tackled all of his previous roles. And so it is with a heavy heart that we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" mourn the passing of a wonderful talent who will indeed be sorely missed. Please forgive us for the lack of light-hearted humor for it is indeed a dark day.

Sincerely,
The Deeply Saddened Souls at "if I Blog It They Will Come"

Happy 53rd Birthday!

Dear "If I Blog It They Will Come" Readers,

While it is true that we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" are currently in the business of attempting to get Robin Williams to visit our blog and send a photo of himself doing so to djayek@yahoo.com, we will never ever cease being loyal to those responsible for our success.

That being said, it is with great joy that we celebrate the birthday of our favorite actor/director, and the number one friend to "If I Blog It They Will Come", Mr. Kevin Costner. Happy 5-3 KC! May this year be just as fruitful, if not more so, than the last.

Sincerely,
The Loyal Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

P.S. Mr C. You Don't look a day over 29!

The World According To If I Blog It

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

Recently we took it upon ourselves to watch your 1982 film, The World According to Garp. As young children we had been exposed to the film, but it had been a while since we had actually seen the film. Rather than run out to our local video store to rent the film right away for a refresher course, we chose first to pick up John Irving's novel of the same name on which the film was based. We spent several weeks taking joy in and being appalled by the actions of Irving's rich characters and immediately upon finishing the lengthy tome we netflixed the film version, because let's face it, the local mom and pop video store has more or less gone the way of the dodo.

Upon finishing both Irving's novel and the George Roy Hill's film version, we believe the latter to be a worthy adaptation of such a stellar read. We were not at all irked by the differences in some of the story elements as we're quite aware that it's nearly impossible to turn a 6oo plus page book into a movie and not have it resemble a mini-series, lest it be the length of Kenneth Branagh's version of Hamlet. That being said, after sitting through the film, we were quite taken aback by one thing; We identified with the character of Garp, a struggling young writer, trying to emerge from the shadow of his famous mother, in much the same way as we as a blog are trying to escape the shadow of the fact that for one shining moment we had Kevin Costner look at our blog and send a photo of himself doing so, but while we felt some connection to the main character, he was not the person in the film with whom we identified most.

You see Mr. Williams, we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" are sort of like the wreckless driver careening around each corner of Garp's neighborhood, just asking for Garp, who is you in this case, to chase after us and give us a good talking to for our wreckless driving. However, in this case, our wreckless driving is our continual posting and the good talking to wouldn't end with you smashing our headlight. It would end with a kindly email with a photo of you looking at our blog finding it's way to our inbox at djayek@yahoo.com.

The only difference is, after you smash our headlights or send us a photo, we won't feel inclined to chase you and a crossdressing John Lithgow through your front yard. Instead, we'll drive away smiling and thinking we should be more cautious next time. In any case, consider this post just another stop sign we've run. Thank you for your time and consideration, Mr. Williams, we look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Wreckless Drivers at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Death To If I Blog It?

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

After twenty-five plus posts attempting to get you to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog, we wonder what you must think of us, if indeed you think of us at all. We certainly hope you don't perceive us as trying to steal your thunder as your character Rainbow Randolph did in regards to Smoochy The Rhino in the 2002 film Death To Smoochy. We've always admired your work and would like to assure you that in our attempt to get you to view our site and send a photo of yourself looking at our blog, we're only trying to entertain people the same way that both you and Rainbow Randolph and Smoochy the Rhinoceros loved to do, with no malicious intent whatsoever.

It is our hope that instead of having it out for us as Rainbow Randolph did for Smoochy in the beginning of that film, that you eventually come around to see our side of things and save our blog life, not by stopping junkie Buggy Ding Dong The Hippotamus (portrayed by the late great Vincent Schiavelli) from assassinating us at our ice show (though that would certainly be climactic), but by simply sending us a photo of yourself looking at our blog at djayek@yahoo.com. Afterwards, you wouldn't even have to stick around to co-host a show together like Smoochy and Randolph did at the end of the movie, your obligation ends with the photo. Though the "If I Blog It Show starring Robin Williams" could be kind of great, we know you've got better things to do....How about if we just say, if you send us a photo we'll leave you alone and continue to enjoy your work as we normally would? Sound like a plan? Great. In any case, we thank you for your time and consideration on the matter and hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Well-Meaning Internet-ertainers at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Comedy Gold(en)

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" were quite distressed when we learned that the Golden Globes Ceremony would be reduced to a measly press conference in lieu of the WGA Strike. If only the Hollywood Foreign Press would've consulted with us before arriving at this solution, we would've provided them with a more viable alternative to their current plan. The "If I Blog It" plan, as we refer to it for obvious reasons, calls for the show to go on, only instead of having a host who is required to read from a script all night, the entire 3 hour program would instead be hosted/improvised by the only person who could pull it off, our comedic hero, Robin Williams. Just think, Mr. Williams, the ratings would be sky high as the American public is kept in stitches with your high energy and quick wit.

Now, we know this plan has obvious holes, the most glaring of which is that we know being a SAG member who respects the struggles of his WGA brethren, you would not dare cross the picket line in order to present a few awards for categories that you were unjustifiably not nominated for. Did anyone in the Hollywood Foreign Press even watch August Rush? I guess they were too busy seeing pedestrian fare like National Treasure 2. How do you spell snub? Oh, I guess we just did.

In any case, Mr. Williams...we're a little bummed about there being no real Golden Globes ceremony this year...we wish you could change that but as it stands now, you can't. However, you do have the power to change one thing. What's that you ask? You, Robin Williams , have the power to change the good fortune of this here blog. By sending in a photo of yourself looking at our blog and sending it to djayek@yahoo.com , you can inject some life into "If I Blog It They Will Come" the same way you would have by hosting and improvised Golden Globes ceremony. So how about doing something off the cuff for some of your biggest fans? It's as easy as point and shoot. We thank you for your time and consideration on the matter and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The non-award winning folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

The Retreat

Dear Mr. Williams,

May we be the first to say (and if not the first, the 2nd or 3rd, but we will not accept being 4th) that your appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman last night was absolutely priceless. You were so on and had us rolling on the floor. Between your spot on Walter Brennan impersonation and your jokes about the bearded Mr. Letterman resembling a Rabbi and then a certain influential President, we weren't sure which part of the night split our sides the most.

However, once you got to talking about your work in Iraq and with the troops, we listened intently. When you showed the clip of your performance we were shocked when all of the troops did an about face right in the middle of your routine for 40 seconds of bugling or as it was called "the retreat". At first we thought, "how dare they?" but that shock quickly turned to appreciation of their dedication.

That's when we got an idea. What if we held a "retreat" of our own in the form of this post. Since September when we began pursuit of our most recent goal you've basically been in the throes of your own daily routine, but if we were to sound our own horn perhaps you'd be forced to do an about face and stare directly into our midst. Perhaps only then you'll see the true meaning of the hard work and dedication inherent in the work we do here at "If I Blog It They Will Come".

So without further ado, consider this our version of "The retreat" not in that we're running away. It's our 40 seconds of bugle music...won't you please look our way and send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. Thank you so much for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Huge Fans of Bugle Music at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

p.s. Those bugles snacks aren't so bad either.

Top Ten Reasons You Should Send Us A Photo of Yourself Looking at If I Blog It They Will Come

Dear Mr. Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" would like to wish you a belated Happy New Year! After celebrating with a ball drop of our own and some illegal fireworks procured south of the border, we are rarin' to go in 2008. While our fireworks may have been entertaining, we imagine they won't be able to compare to the fireworks we're preparing to witness tonight as you welcome back top late night dog, David Letterman from his extended hiatus.

The way we see it, those folks at Worldwide Pants are geniuses. Who else could provide the much needed comic punch to make up for the several months of late night comedy silence we've all been dealing wit for over 2 months. Thanks to the rapid fire comedic mastery of Robin Williams, we're sure to experience almost the exact amount of laughs with one guest than we probably would've over those two months with lesser guests. After all a little Robin Williams goes a long way. That's precisely what attracted us to you as a subject for our bloggery. One photo of you looking at our blog would go a long way towards making our lives complete. We figured if one of our comedic idols admired our persuasive writing chops then all of the hard work would be worthwhile. So what do you say?

If you're still not convinced you should send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com , we compiled this list in honor of your appearance on Letterman... So without any further ado, from the home office in Brooklyn,New York; The Top Ten Reasons You Should Send us A Photo of Yourself Looking at I Blog It They Will Come

10. Will make a fantastic talking point for your NEXT Letterman appearance.
9. For a limited time Rite Aid is offering double prints for the price of one.
8. If we're not happy afterwards at least you know "It's Not Your Fault."
7. Defamer will write something nice about you for at least one day.
6. You don't have to dress up in drag to do it....unless you want to.
5. We won't leak your photo to Ain't It Cool News
4. We've seen all of your movies...except for 1 or 2, but we're getting to those
3. You can be naked for it if you like.
2. The photo can double as next year's Christmas Card.

And finally, the Number one Reason, you, Robin Williams, should send a photo of yourself looking at our blog....
1. KEVIN COSTNER DID IT!!!!

(CUE Paul Shaffer and the Band)

We hope you enjoyed our Top 10 reasons You should send a photo of
yourself looking at our blog...now hopefully that motivates you to to
play along. If not, we'll keep trying anyway. Thanks for your time
and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Persistent Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"