Hollywood Blog of Fame

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

As you may or may not have noticed, we here at If I Blog It They Will Come have been away for a little over a week. We decided to take a mini break from our mission in favor of a leisurely vacation, choosing to escape the unpredictable New York weather for the stubbornly sunny skies of Los Angeles, California. The climate was so comfortable out there, we can see why so many celebrities feel right at home...though we don't care much for the Freeway.

While we didn't happen upon many celebrities on our visit save for John C. Reilly and a Freddy Krueger impersonator, we did see a lot of stars...on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. One morning we took a stroll down Hollywood Boulevard and walked the entire stretch of the star-laden sidewalk from Gower to La Brea. Towards the end, we finally came to Grauman's Chinese Theater where we stumbled upon your shoe and hand prints immortalized in cement.

Out of curiosity, we stuck our feet over your prints and found that we had nearly identical size as you (somewhere between 9 1/2 and 10). Despite the thrill of finding that we here at If I Blog It They Will Come have the same size feet as our favorite actor/comedian...we came to the realization that we could never fill your shoes. Mr. Williams, we walked over the names of hundreds of entertainment icons during our stroll, but none of them save for maybe one (Mr. Costner) stirred up the kind of emotional fervor that makes one a worthy subject for our blog.

You see Mr. Williams, we here at If I Blog It They Will Come like to consider ourselves the "Hollywood Walk of Fame" of blogs...only more selective. We don't seek out those with limited contributions like John Tesh and Judge Judy. We like to associate ourselves with the best (Supporting Actor for 1997's Good Will Hunting, Take that Corliss!). That's basically why we've been continually haranguing you all of these months. We want you to be on our "blog of fame"...but instead of a star with your name on it, we need you to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. We can't bestow our honor without it.
In any case, we thank you for your time and consideration on the matter and look forward to giving you your own "star" on our blog of fame soon enough.

Sincerely,
The Hollywood Blog of Fame Curators at If I Blog It They Will Come

An Apple A Day

Dear Mr. Costner,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" were perusing the Youtube and came across the following classic commercial clip. Please watch carefully and pay very close attention to what happens in between the 32 second mark and 36 second mark.




Did you notice a few things during that critical time code we pointed out?

It appears to us that the handsome young star of the commercial is none other then KEVIN COSTNER!

And it looks like he's sitting behind AN OFFICE DESK!

The strange piece of machinery he's operating – could it be…wait…why, IT IS! It's a PERSONAL COMPUTER!!! KEVIN COSTNER IS SITTING AT A DESK LOOKING AT A COMPUTER SCREEN!!!

Mr. Costner, for quite a while now we have been asking you to take a photo of yourself sitting at the computer checking out our blog. Sure the thought occurred to us that as a famous and powerful film star and director, you may have moved beyond the simple task of doing your own computing (we assume you have a staff that takes care of such things). But here is irrefutable proof that you, Kevin Costner, once possessed the tools and talent to operate the very machinery that can make "If I Blog It They Will Come" the success it deserves to be.

All that we ask is that you re-enact those 4 seconds -- but instead of looking at a blank title screen you look at "If I Blog It They Will Come" and then have someone take a photo of yourself doing so, so that you can send it to us at djayek@yahoo.com. Also, you can use a more up to date computer. We here at a "If I Blog It They Will Come" prefer the Macintosh G4 Powerbook (that's what we use) but you can use whatever you have laying around. It would be kind of cool if you used the Apple in the commercial but we're not even sure if that has Internet capabilities.

The Kevin Costner in that old Apple commercial was you, sir. The question now is: can you be the Kevin Costner you once were? We know you can. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Special Thanks to A. Morton

March Madness Boycott

N.C. State Forward Brandon Costner...Any relation?

Hey Mr. Costner,

We hope you're enjoying the Ides of March at home. We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" are not. With the NCAA March Madness Tournament beginning today, frankly, we're a little confused who to root for. For one, our Syracuse Orange were completely snubbed and thereby relegated to the NIT. We wanted to cheer for your alma-mater Cal State-Fullerton, but sadly they were nowhere to be found in the field of 64 either. There weren't even any other teams with the same nickname (Titans) to throw our support behind.

That's when we remembered that N.C. State had a player by the name of Brandon Costner (any relation?). We searched our bracket to see when N.C. State was going to take the floor today. Much to our chagrin, we discovered that the N.C. State Wolfpack was also relegated to the NIT. How could the selection committee do that? Didn't they realize the perfect opportunity for a headline should Wolfpack go all the way in the big dance with A Costner on their team. I could see it now, the cover of Sports Illustrated reading "Dances With Wolves: Costner leads Pack to NCAA Title". Alas, the NCAA selection committee wouldn't know a good storyline if it smacked 'em in the face. That's why this year's NIT is the tournament to watch.

Anyway, with no one to root for, we've decided to boycott the NCAA tournament altogether and were hoping that you would join us. Until the NCAA Selection committee realizes that Brandon Costner, the Syracuse Orange, and/or Cal St. Fullerton deserves a shot at the title, we can't in good conscience enjoy College Basketball. If you support our cause please feel free to send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. This way we can start putting pressure on the NCAA for next year's tournament. Thanks for your time and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Disappointed College Basketball Fans at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Taste The Rainbow

Dear Mr. Costner,

We realize you probably think there's a lot of better things we could do with our time than try to get you to send a photo yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. For instance, we could go on a whitewater trip. Just what we always wanted to see, white water. We could just as easily go the way of the dodo and drift off to Internet Heaven. However, this is not about heaven. This is about rainbows. Like in in the 2002 thriller Dragonfly, when all of those cancer patients started telling your character, Joe Darrow, that his dead wife wanted him to go to the rainbow. This site is your rainbow.

Don't be surprised if you start to experience something similar to what that character did. Though we don't think that cancer patients are the proper conduit for our message. Haven't they got enough to worry about without worrying whether or not they have to tell you to look at our blog? Seeing as the word is out around Hollywood, you might start hearing our words and pleas from strange people in strange places or maybe even people you work with and care about. Maybe one day you'll be grooming your horses with Christine and one of your ranch hands will say that he had a dream that he was looking at a website and it said, "Mr. Costner send in a photo of yourself looking at If I Blog It They Will Come", or maybe Ashton Kutcher will call you up on the phone, but instead of asking you how you're doing, he'll slip into our rendition of "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" and then slip out without knowing why.

Mr. Costner, we don't really know if we'll be able to explain these phenomena when they happen but we do know we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" don't think you should dismiss them as constructs of your imagination. You should follow their clues and if someone says those magical words "send in a photo of yourself looking at "If I Blog It They Will Come", well then who are you to resist? We look forward to the day when you finally reach the rainbow. For we know that day will come. As a friend of ours once said, "It's belief that gets us there".

Sincerely,
The Believers at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Rumor Has It

The folks here at If I Blog It, They Will Come would like to extend a hearty thank you to the Gossip Gurus at Defamer for leaking word of our little operation to the world. We'll keep you posted on our progress. Stay tuned.