High Horse of Hilarity

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" have been on a long self-imposed hiatus of sorts. You see, when we first heard of your heart difficulties a few months back, we thought the classy thing to do would be to lay off and allow your wounds to heal before commencing with the playful badgering in the hopes of getting you to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog.

In that time we've been all over the world...London, San Francisco (not to stalk you,just to go to an awesome BBQ in Krissy Field)...Well, just London and San Francisco, but those are pretty much opposite ends of the global spectrum. In that time we've had time to do a lot of thinking and that thinking led us to the conclusion that we'd be ready to play this game whenever you were ready. In our estimation Mr. Williams, you're ready.

Since the release of your latest film, Night At The Museum 2, there has been mounting evidence that our favorite actor/comedian is back on his high horse of hilarity and ready to take on the world. Sure we've seen you light up the talk show circuit, but it wasn't til we caught this clip from "Shack Talk" a few weeks back that we were utterly convinced that you were back on top of your game and that, well, we should be too.



So it is with great pleasure that we here at "If I Blog It, They Will Come" announce that we are back on the case; the case of getting you, Mr. Robin Williams to send a photo of himself looking at our blog. What do you say, Mr. Williams? It's been almost 2 years. Why not do us a solid for old times sake by sending a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com? If you're not ready yet, don't worry, we'll be back next week wearing a brand new heart on our sleeve that will be beating stronger than ever, just like yours. Thanks for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
The slightly rusty folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Get Well Soon

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

We here at If I Blog It They Will Come were disheartened (for lack of a better word) by the news this week that you had to cancel four shows on your now somewhat aptly named "Weapons of Self Destruction" tour. We became slightly worried when reading that you had checked in to a Miami Hospital with "Heart Issues." We contemplated not posting and taking a breather this week as you did the same. Instead, we decided that the show must go on, but instead of going through the whole song and dance of requesting a photo of yourself looking at our blog, we just thought we'd wish you the best of health and let you know that you're in our thoughts. It is our hope that you'll return to the road soon feeling as fresh as ever, but take your time. Life is not a race although sometimes it feels like it. Get well soon RW.

Sincerely,
The Concerned Folks at If I Blog It They Will Come

Genie In A Bottle

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

In the hopes of brightening our so far dour week, we here at If I Blog It They Will Come decided to browse youtube for a pick me up. Naturally, the first thing we searched for was your name. Who better to cheer up a somber bunch than the always funny (except when he means to be serious) Robin Williams?

Our search immediately proved fruitful as we happened upon this decidedly hilarious clip of you from BBC Two's Graham Norton Show in which Graham announces that since everybody loved Aladdin, he'd chosen two people from the audience to play a genie. The first genie gives a completely lackluster performance and the second one, despite an enthusiastic "Alakazaam!" leaves much to be desired. This just goes to prove that there can never be a substitute for a 100% true original like yourself.

You see Mr. Williams, after spending more than 520 days as Prince Ali in pursuit of our Jasmine (a.k.a a photo of yourself looking at our blog sent to our inbox at djayek@yahoo.com), we here at If I Blog It They Will Come could have easily moved on to another celebrity to grant our one main wish, but doing that just wouldn't have felt right. It would've been like asking a cross between Shaquille O'Neal's rappin' genie in the film Kazaam and guy #1 from the above video to star in a remake of Aladdin. In other words, there could be no suitable replacement for the magic you would immediately bring to our site. In any case, we will continue to rub our lamp in the hopes that you will one day be moved to emerge and question our motives for doing so or just send us a photo of you looking at our blog. We thank you for your time and consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Lamp Rubbing Prince Alis at If I Blog It They Will Come

Just Call Us Jack Bauer

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

Several days ago, we here at If I Blog It They Will Come were perusing the enjoyably well-written pages of RadarOnline when we stumbled across an article about your eagerness to be on the smash FOX network staple, 24. As faithful fans of the Jack Bauer power hour, our entire staff nearly broke into excited convulsions at the prospect of seeing our favorite actor/comedian interacting with one of our most beloved television characters. I mean there would be so much dramatic sexual tension between Kim Bauer and whomever you would play that it would be downright unbearable.

You Could Cut It With A Knife

The article went on to quote Kiefer Sutherland, who gave some insight as to who you might play saying you would be "...an innocent computer analyst who stumbles onto something cryptic he doesn't know he has and becomes a target. Jack Bauer, the government and the bad guys are all looking for this guy, who is scared to death and running for his life."

As an excellent actor, we're sure you can handle the "innocent computer analyst" bit and being in "scared to death and running for you life" mode; though given your current status touring with your standup act, you might need time to get into character. That's where we here at If I Blog It They Will Come would like to be of assistance.

You see Mr. Williams, we think it would be extremely beneficial to your character research were you to spend some of your spare time doing technical computer things...likes...say...taking a photo of yourself looking at our blog and sending it to us at djayek@yahoo.com. That way you'll really get a feel for your character's motivation, as you'll most likely be uploading satellite images to members of CTU. Just pretend we're Jack and you're sending us important files necessary for catching the bad guys. We can't prepare you for the subsequent torture you're going to undergo when Jack suspects you're hiding something from him. You're on your own on that one.

In any case, we hope you consider our offer and we look forward to seeing you on the small screen (unless we're watching in one of our rich celebrity friend's personal home theater) or in an image attached in our inbox. We thank you for your time and consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Jack Bauer Power-Hour Fans and Connoisseurs of Talent at If I Blog It They Will Come

The Evolution of If I Blog It They Will Come

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

Today marks the 200th Birthday of one Mr. Charles Darwin, he of that theory of evolution thing fame. We don't know what Mr. Darwin is doing for number 200, probably partying at a tiki bar on the Galapagos Islands or taking a leisurely flight through the clouds as the powerful hawk-man he has surely evolved into, but we here at If I Blog It They Will Come have decided to use this occasion to discuss the evolutionary progress of our own site.

You see Mr. Williams, when we began this site in January of 2007 we really had no idea what we were doing. Much like your character Hector, in the first stage of the film Being Human, we hadn't really become a civilized blog. We took aim at our target and threw as many "rocks" or posts as possible out into the Internet in the hopes of catching our prey, or in this case attracting the celebrity of choice to take a picture of him or herself looking at our blog (though so far it has only been necessary to use the term himself).

About four months in, however, we were only able to handle a load of two to three posts a week due to other obligations and also in the hopes of staving off burnout. It was at this point where our posts became less ridiculous, and more eloquent. Step one in our evolution was realizing that the sentiment, not the frequency was the thing that mattered. It was that realization that carried us to achieving a satisfying end to our first mission.

As the first leg in our evolution was all about killing them with kindness and learning to throw less stones; the second seems to be about developing the most sacred virtue of all, patience. As we've continued on the journey of our blog's second life we've continued to post once a week, maintaining that same pure sentiment in the hopes that you will one day visit our blog and send a photo of yourself looking at the annals of If I Blog It They Will Come to djayek@yahoo.com.

While we haven't achieved that goal yet, we're sure that our evolutionary progress will help us carry our blog to it's logical conclusion...and just as your character Hector in Being Human, maybe we'll finally learn that life is a struggle for but a few things...Food. Safety. Someone to love. A pair of shoes that fit. And a photo of you, Robin Williams, looking at our blog.

Thanks for your time and consideration. Keep evolving.

Sincerely,
The Homo Habilis at If I Blog It They Will Come

Bicentennial, Man (200th Post)

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

We here at If I Blog It They Will Come are celebrating an extremely momentous occasion. Today marks our 200th post as a site. While we expected to pull out all the bells and whistles on this special day, we've found no reason to shout anything from the mountaintops. You see Mr. Williams, without a photo of you looking at our blog there's no reason for us to break out the champagne along with our copy of Bicentennial Man.

Furthermore, with Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow this week we know we're doomed to at least six more weeks without Williams. We're not superstitious, but six more weeks without the warmth of knowing you've visited us and seen fit to send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com is unbearable. This deep freeze you've got us in is making our teeth chatter and hands tremble. We've felt the cold sting of doubt that our dream to get you to participate in our blog will ever come true. To paraphrase a quote from your character Andrew Martin in Bicentennial Man "we try to make sense of things. Which is why, we guess, we believe in destiny. There must be a reason that we are here" and like that character we will wait 200 years, or maybe 200 more posts to reach that destiny, which we know is to get a photo of you looking at our blog.

So with that Mr. Robin Williams, we tell you that our resolve is strong even amidst this chill that tempts our very demise. We know that you'll one day warm to our quest and help us to feel the warm glow of that springtime sun. We thank you for your continued time and consideration. We're going inside, the wind chill is -1 degrees and we've got a date with the Ohio Players song "Bi-Centennial" (off of the 1976 album Contradiction) by the fireside over some hot cocoa. Hopefully we'll hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Bicentennial Men at If I Blog It They Will Come

Good Will Blogging

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

We have to heartily apologize for allowing our pursuit of the photo of you looking at our blog to lapse so much in the month of January. You see, in the current economic downturn (to put it politely) pursuing If I Blog It They Will Come's current celebrity-oriented goal "like it was our job," to use the parlance of our times, has given way to the actual need to focus on something else due to the fact that it is actually our job. This need to be gainfully employed has left us precious little time to pine over the stellar work you continue to produce.

In other words, the words of Sean Maguire, your character in Good Will Hunting, (which happened to play twice in a row on TNT last night) "It's not your fault." The recession hasn't a thing to do with your record of consistently stellar performances, nor has your refusal to comply with our mission done anything to deter us. We don't think you understand, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT that we've taken a liking to and have been influenced by all of the great entertainment you've provided us with over the years. You can't help it. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT that we're continually impressed by all of your humanitarian efforts. And IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT that we have yet to compel you to participate in our noble shenanigans thereby causing us to fall deeper into the blackness of the Internet abyss. We place that blame solely on our shoulders Mr. Robin Williams, now if you excuse us, we have to go see a man about a photo.

Oh, actually, while we've got you here, that man we need to see about a photo is you...and that photo of you looking at our blog can be sent to djayek@yahoo.com. Thank you for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Not Playing The Blame Game Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"