Write, Camera, Action!

According to recent reports, it seems as though the Writers Guild of America strike is almost set to come to it's much anticipated conclusion; and not a moment too soon as we were worried that desperate studios would resort to ideas like remaking the 1996 film Kazaam with the exact same script, but with Flavor Flav as the rapping genie, or something. Thankfully the writers and studios are ready to put their differences behind them and get to work banging out quality scripts for moviegoers everywhere.

While the guild was busy ironing out the details with the folks who sign their checks, we were busy dreaming up new film ideas so that once this labor melee was resolved there'd be plenty of material to put quickly into production. Naturally, all of our ideas were envisioned with you, our favorite comedic actor, Robin Williams, in mind. So without further ado, here are a few suggestions for films that we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" think should be rushed into production as soon as the t's are crossed and the lower case j's are dotted:

MR. Doubtfire: Daniel is now as successful actor, but when his cousin's kids needs some straightening out he takes the job as their "manny" MR. Doubtfire. In this one you can wear a kilt and play the bagpipes while you clean the house.

Good Morning Vietnam 2: Good Morning Desert Storm: Adrian Cronauer returns to the airwaves to serve up more laughs during America's first, more-fun-because-we-won-it

-quick, Iraqi excursion.

Digital Photo (sequel to 1 Hour Photo): Sy Parrish the psychotic film developer is back, this time taking much less time with his attempted murders and using Photoshop for creepy collages.

Alive Poets Society- Mr. Keating is stranded in the Andes Mountains with a cannibalistic Uruguayan Rugby team. He teaches them the value of letting out a barbaric yawp!

The If I Blog It They Will Come Story- A film about a team of bloggers who attempt to get a celebrity named "Robin Williams" who they have great admiration for to visit their blog. They go through plenty of trials and tribulations. There are moments of doubt, baby mama drama, drunken bar brawls...Robin Williams will play himself in the film but it's a very crucial scene in which he takes a photo of himself looking at the blog and sends it to the blog email at djayek@yahoo.com. We think it has an Oscar for best supporting actor written all over it. However, the only way it can be based on a true story is if you, the actual Robin Williams, send a photo of yourself looking at the blog (this blog) to djayek@yahoo.com.

Well, those are just a few of the great film ideas we came up with over the strike. We've got plenty more where that came from, but we don't want to overdo it. Thanks for your time and consideration on the matter. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Potential Producers at "If I Blog It They Will Come"


Special Thanks to Andrew Morton

Comedy Gold(en)

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" were quite distressed when we learned that the Golden Globes Ceremony would be reduced to a measly press conference in lieu of the WGA Strike. If only the Hollywood Foreign Press would've consulted with us before arriving at this solution, we would've provided them with a more viable alternative to their current plan. The "If I Blog It" plan, as we refer to it for obvious reasons, calls for the show to go on, only instead of having a host who is required to read from a script all night, the entire 3 hour program would instead be hosted/improvised by the only person who could pull it off, our comedic hero, Robin Williams. Just think, Mr. Williams, the ratings would be sky high as the American public is kept in stitches with your high energy and quick wit.

Now, we know this plan has obvious holes, the most glaring of which is that we know being a SAG member who respects the struggles of his WGA brethren, you would not dare cross the picket line in order to present a few awards for categories that you were unjustifiably not nominated for. Did anyone in the Hollywood Foreign Press even watch August Rush? I guess they were too busy seeing pedestrian fare like National Treasure 2. How do you spell snub? Oh, I guess we just did.

In any case, Mr. Williams...we're a little bummed about there being no real Golden Globes ceremony this year...we wish you could change that but as it stands now, you can't. However, you do have the power to change one thing. What's that you ask? You, Robin Williams , have the power to change the good fortune of this here blog. By sending in a photo of yourself looking at our blog and sending it to djayek@yahoo.com , you can inject some life into "If I Blog It They Will Come" the same way you would have by hosting and improvised Golden Globes ceremony. So how about doing something off the cuff for some of your biggest fans? It's as easy as point and shoot. We thank you for your time and consideration on the matter and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The non-award winning folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

STRIKE!!!

Dear Mr. Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" were extremely glad to see your picture plastered all over the papers and Internet last week as you took up arms with or more specifically delivered bagels to our fellow striking writers. We almost walked out on our blog and got out there with you on the picket line, but then we realized that we are not members of the Writers Guild of America and don't make any money for doing this. That doesn't mean we don't support the Writers Guild cause. Lord knows, we've got a few script ideas floating around that would make for fantastic motion pictures, episodes of Two and A Half Men, or perhaps Lifetime movies of the week (if any agents are reading...but only if you're reading this after the writers strike has been settled...call or email us) that we would like to be paid handsomely and fairly for when we finally do become members.

You could've easily taken the low road and said, "to hell with these writers" and stayed home writing material for a stand up tour that you might undertake since it seems like no new movies are going to be made for awhile. However, you did the honorable thing and showed support for those who make the magic possible and for that we commend you. We only wish you would see fit to do the same for us here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" who bring joy to millions (okay, more like tens) of Internet perusers each day.

We're not asking you to hang out with us or bring us bagels. We've got a bagel store just down the street and we're really not that lazy (two everythings toasted with scallion cream cheese). All we're asking is that you show "solidarity" for our cause by sending a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com.. We promise to repay the favor by writing favorable things about SAG next summer if their negotiations should go south and cause you to strike. We thank you for your time and consideration on the matter and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Union Supporters at "If I Blog It They Will Come"



special thanks to Andrew Morton