Dead Prequel Society?

Dear Mr. Robin Williams,

Several days ago, we received in our Netflix queue a DVD copy of your 1986 made for TV film entitled Seize The Day. Upon first glance at the title, we thought it was the foreign pressing of the landmark, 1989 film Dead Poets Society, which makes notable use of both the phrase "Seize the Day" and it's latin counterpart "Carpe Diem". We were also wrapped up in the possibility that the film would be an inspiring prequel to the aforementioned film, detailing the meteoric rise of John Keating as a professor of the English language.

However, when we finally took it upon ourselves we were surprised to find that the movie we were watching was neither a prequel, nor did inspire us to great heights. Frankly, your stirring portrayal of the downtrodden Tommy Willhelm (neé Wilkie Adler) broke our hearts. After quitting his job and being turned away at every corner by old "friends", we not only felt sorry for poor Tommy, we actually identified with him. You see, we here at If I Blog It They Will Come used to be the most successful at the top of our celebrity lauding game, just as Tommy used to be a top salesman. We had all of the friends in the world, Defamer, PopCandy, Entertainment Weekly's Popwatch blog. Now those folks won't even give us the time of day, like when that heartless bastard Ziegler avoided Tommy for an entire afternoon.

We haven't yet ventured into the commodities market to take our chances with Jerry Stiller only to have him take the money and run yet, but frankly, we don't have that kind of access to Jerry Stiller and after the failure of the Bro/Mansir, we're not exactly sure we'd give that guy one red cent, much less hangout with him at a Turkish bath.

Despite the fact that we felt utterly depressed after finishing Seize The Day, we realized something...if you want to be successful in this world you have to rely and one person and one person only...and that's yourself. While we like having all of the helpful friends in the world, the only reason we were successful in the past is because we had the cojones to do something that no one else had done and be persistent in doing it. Maybe just maybe we did take something from the cautionary tale of Tommy Wilhelm... and with that sir, we vow to be persistent, though not annoying in asking you to visit our blog and take a picture of yourself doing so, so that you may send it to us at djayek@yahoo.com. Thank you for your time and consideration, as well as teaching us a valuable lesson.

Sincerely,
The Folks Who Say "Carpe Diem!" and mean it at If I Blog, It They Will Come

Top Ten Reasons You Should Send Us A Photo of Yourself Looking at If I Blog It They Will Come

Dear Mr. Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" would like to wish you a belated Happy New Year! After celebrating with a ball drop of our own and some illegal fireworks procured south of the border, we are rarin' to go in 2008. While our fireworks may have been entertaining, we imagine they won't be able to compare to the fireworks we're preparing to witness tonight as you welcome back top late night dog, David Letterman from his extended hiatus.

The way we see it, those folks at Worldwide Pants are geniuses. Who else could provide the much needed comic punch to make up for the several months of late night comedy silence we've all been dealing wit for over 2 months. Thanks to the rapid fire comedic mastery of Robin Williams, we're sure to experience almost the exact amount of laughs with one guest than we probably would've over those two months with lesser guests. After all a little Robin Williams goes a long way. That's precisely what attracted us to you as a subject for our bloggery. One photo of you looking at our blog would go a long way towards making our lives complete. We figured if one of our comedic idols admired our persuasive writing chops then all of the hard work would be worthwhile. So what do you say?

If you're still not convinced you should send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com , we compiled this list in honor of your appearance on Letterman... So without any further ado, from the home office in Brooklyn,New York; The Top Ten Reasons You Should Send us A Photo of Yourself Looking at I Blog It They Will Come

10. Will make a fantastic talking point for your NEXT Letterman appearance.
9. For a limited time Rite Aid is offering double prints for the price of one.
8. If we're not happy afterwards at least you know "It's Not Your Fault."
7. Defamer will write something nice about you for at least one day.
6. You don't have to dress up in drag to do it....unless you want to.
5. We won't leak your photo to Ain't It Cool News
4. We've seen all of your movies...except for 1 or 2, but we're getting to those
3. You can be naked for it if you like.
2. The photo can double as next year's Christmas Card.

And finally, the Number one Reason, you, Robin Williams, should send a photo of yourself looking at our blog....
1. KEVIN COSTNER DID IT!!!!

(CUE Paul Shaffer and the Band)

We hope you enjoyed our Top 10 reasons You should send a photo of
yourself looking at our blog...now hopefully that motivates you to to
play along. If not, we'll keep trying anyway. Thanks for your time
and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Persistent Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

The Big 5-0

Dear Mr. Costner,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" are thrilled to celebrate our 50th post in our attempt to lure you to our blog so that you might send a photo of yourself looking at said blog to djayek@yahoo.com. It's truly been a harrowing experience. We figured that since we've lasted longer than many a FOX midseason replacement show (we're not sure if that show Drive has aired yet but we give it 2, maybe 3 episodes) that there's never been a better time to reminisce on all of the good times we've shared together, or alone since we're not really sure if you've ever seen our site.

If you are indeed reading this, now would be an opportune time to put on Lionel Richie's "Say You, Say Me" or even go back to our very 2nd post and take out your copy of the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves Soundtrack and go to track 9, just before Jeff Lynne's "Wild Times", but after "The Abduction and the Final Battle at the Gallows" and please sing along at home to our version of Bryan Adams "(Everything I Do), I Do It For You" while we take you back in time to a simpler time where some kids were just starting out on their mission. Close your eyes...actually don't close your eyes because then you won't be able to read this.

Remember back on January 24th when the first post went up? We were just a bunch of crazy kids back then trying to get you to notice us. That all changed on January 29th when the folks at Defamer caught wind of our website. From that moment on "If I Blog It They Will Come" would never be the same. We had 2,000 hits that day and what we thought was a legitimate shot of getting you to our site. Why, we were almost certain we'd get a photo of you looking at our blog when an anonymous comment was left on our orignal post dated January 29th telling us to "start planning what celeb you want next". But alas, it was not to be. We had to keep posting and post on we did.

February was our first full month on the job and we didn't waste any time trying to suck you in. Who could forget that time we gave you a list of things that we wouldn't do to get you to send us your photo (rhetorical)? We certainly haven't. February also brought such memorable posts as our call for a Kevin Costner Presidential run, our belated observation of your birthday, your baby announcement, and of course PUPPIES! These were all good times...at least for us.

The train kept a rollin' on into March like a lion as we made ourselves the Offficial Unofficial home of your upcoming film Mr. Brooks and even shot a scene from a hypothetical upcoming film for you to star in. If that's not dedication then boycotting the NCAA Tourney because Cal St.-Fullerton didn't make it certainly is.

I guess what we're trying to say Mr. Costner is, that we've made it through 50 posts and remain steadfastly dedicated to our cause that is getting you to visit our blog and send in a photo of yourself doing so to djayek@yahoo.com. We'll do it for 50 more and even another 50 after that. We'd just rather we didn't have to. In any case, thank you for taking the time to view our humble site with a very simple goal. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Rumor Has It

The folks here at If I Blog It, They Will Come would like to extend a hearty thank you to the Gossip Gurus at Defamer for leaking word of our little operation to the world. We'll keep you posted on our progress. Stay tuned.