Radioactive Costner

Dear Mr. Costner,

When we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" heard that you'd be taking batting practice with the Albuquerque Isotopes we weren't sure what to think. Our imaginations ran a little wild. We had visions of you in a chemistry lab in New Mexico taking swings at beakers and centrifuges with a Louisville Slugger. The incident would no doubt cause the formation of a Radioactive Super Costner who would rise 10 stories into the sky and stomp around the cities of America while bringing joy to the hearts of his fans. Maybe the rest of Modern West could become radioactive as well and you'd become a band of giants and play one rocking show for the entire country while stationed in a central location like Omaha, Nebraska. While in Omaha you could also act as a 10-story tall SuperHero and save the College World Series by keeping it in Rosenblatt Stadium and while you were busy saving things you could stomp on over to Times Square where you could take a picture of giant radioactive self in front of a giant computer display that inevitably will have this here blog on it's screen. Then you can upload said picture to the giant computer display from your giant camera (since it was also effected by the radioactive display, though I suppose you might have to find a giant USB cord) and send it on over to us at djayek@yahoo.com. This would in essence save our blog from the throes of mediocrity and the American public would be forever in your debt.

After this entire ordeal was said and done the story would no doubt be made into a hollywood blockbuster starring who else (Jessica Alba as your wife) and since you'd be ten stories tall you'd be able to serve as your own billboard.

Now we realize that this entire situation seems a little too fantastical but we did preface the story with the fact that we let our imaginations run a little wild. After all, we know that the Albuquerque Isotopes are just a team in the Pacific Coast League but that doesn't mean that all of this couldn't happen...or at least that's what we believe.

Thanks for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Imaginative Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Costner Calling It Quits?

Dear Mr. Costner,

We recently opened out mailbox to find the July/August issue of the AARP The Magazine (the official magazine of the American Association of Retired Persons), and were shocked to find this article on our favorite actor. Never mind what we were doing reading the AARP Bulletin (if you need to know we've been thinking about early retirement from the workforce to focus solely on writing this blog and we were hoping that the AARP The Magazine had the skinny on some viable get rich quick schemes) -- seeing you in those pages led us to have a mini panic-attack when we wondered if this meant you were contemplating retirement.

After breathing into a paper sandwich bag for a few minutes, we gave a thorough read of the article and discovered this was not the case. It seems that AARP is just very interested in the lives of those over 50 whether they work or not, especially if they are famous and still retain their original hair color. As we thought about it the idea of a Costner retirement anytime soon seemed ludicrous. To us you don't look a day over 35, and you still portray a winning boyish charm that most actors your age can only dream of exuding. Plus you have so many projects on the horizon; your band is just picking up steam, Swing Vote is about to enter production, and after that you have The Explorers Club. It seems like we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" are the only ones who are suffering from dementia!

Mr. Costner, while you may have found the fountain of youth, we hope it doesn't lead you to think that you have all the time in the world to send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. Though you may have found the Fountain of Youth, we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" have not yet had our shot at immortality, and it is our hope that we will achieve it when you honor our request. Remember, Mr. Costner, as Rod Stewart, or possibly Bob Dylan (and Rod Stewart), once sang: "Be courageous and be brave, and in our hearts you will remain -- forever young".

Sincerely,
The Young at Heart Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Costner World Tour

Dear Mr. Costner,

August is upon us and as we inch towards our 7 month anniversary of blog existence (blogsistense) the newswire is all but silent when it comes to any updates on our favorite actor. How else are we to explain our mini hiatus? We could explain it by saying we were super busy playing Wii but that's semi-irrelevant. In any case, we take solace in knowing that you're probably hard at work on Swing Vote and no doubt cooking up a multitude of new projects. There is however a light at the end of the tunnel. While perusing the Kevin Costner and Modern West Myspace page we couldn't help but notice that you and the band are picking up the slack with a couple of West Coast dates this month; the first being August 5th at the Sunshine Theater in Albuquerque, New Mexico, the 2nd being August 9th at the Tachi Palace Casino in LeMoore, California. All of these dates are well and good but we can only assume that these shows are warm ups to something bigger and better...more specifically, the Kevin Costner and Modern West World Tour. We know there's been no announcement to that effect yet, but we have to agree with Kelly's comment on your myspace page stating " i think you guys should come to NY :)" . We probably would've used a capital I or substituted the word "We" and omitted the smiley face at the end but that's just being nitpicky as we generally agree with Kelly's idea.

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" love hearing those sweet, sweet tunes on our computer but that music would sound much sweeter in person. Sure we could make the trip out to New Mexico or California but money's a little tight right now and the cost of airfare and a concert ticket is too much of a financial strain (not to mention all of the money we'd lose at the Tachi Palace Casino).

In order to remedy our absence at these performances, now is the time where we'd like to appeal to anyone who will be at those shows to send us some photos so we can live vicariously through them. If you do we'll even post them on the blog! We're looking for enthusiasm, people -- so feel free to snap a shot of you and your friends waving your hand wildly, screaming for an encore, and perhaps flashing a Dio-esque devil horns. If you have one of those cameras that shoots video, get some footage of the audience in motion -- though we'll probably have to drop the sound since we don't have the rights to Mr. Costner's music. And Mr. Costner, if perhaps Modern West are like the Dave Matthews Band and take a picture of yourselves on-stage at the end of every show you play, maybe you can forward that pic along for us to post on the blog. Sure, it wouldn't exactly be the shot of you in front of a computer that we've been asking for, but in this case we would be willing to scrub that requirement. Of course we hear that laptop computers are quite portable these days, so perhaps if a crew member has one handy, he or she could call up our blog and stick it in the shot. Whichever way the photo comes out, you can e-mail it to us at djayek@yahoo.com.

In any event, we wish we could be present for your West Coast concerts. Hopefully you'll see fit to spread the musical love east of the Rockies sometime soon. Thanks for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon..

Sincerely,
The Rockin' Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

The Summer Of Costner

Dear Mr. Costner,

While the Summer of 1967 will always be remembered as the Summer of Love, 2007 is quickly shaping up to be the Summer of Costner. We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" have had trouble keeping up with all of the press you've been getting. We imagine your publicist is working overtime and he or she is certainly doing an outstanding job.

The Summer (although technically Spring we like to lump all the warm months in together)began with the birth of Cayden Wyatt Costner, followed immediately by the announcement of Swing Vote as your next project. Summer kept a rolllin' on as you and Modern West rocked in Greenville, followed soon after by the release of Mr. Brooks. Not intent to rest on your laurels, just last week you announced your plans for The Explorers Club, an animated series of Webisodes that would be expanded into a live action feature length. Just when we thought the onslaught of Costner news couldn't continue at it's current clip we came across the article announcing your fellow Swing Vote Castmates in Variety this morning. Needless to say, you've assembled quite the ensemble.

The one thing that worries us about the frenetic pace of your career is that now that you seem to be reaching a new creative peak we're positively frightened that you'll have no time for our little blog which we've spent countless hours preparing all for the sole purpose of getting you to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. Don't get us wrong we'd love to be continually entertained by a neverending cavalcade of Costnertainment and we can keep this up as long as you'll make us but with all of the great work you're doing, you don't seem to be giving yourself enough free time to provide us with a light at the end of the tunnel. That being said, we'll probably never want for material as long as you're busy. So I guess there's an upside to all of this. Anyway, we've said our piece. Let the summer of Costner roll on and we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" will continue to bask in it's warmth.

Thanks for your time and considerations. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Tan folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Lady Luck Lives In Tahoe

Dear Mr. Costner,

We just wanted to wish you luck tomorrow for your show at Harrah's Lake Tahoe...not like you need it. We're confident that you and the the rest of Modern West are up to the task of entertaining the throngs of fans that are sure to be present at this soon to be legendary event. We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" unfortunately cannot be amongst the heaps of loyal Costner fans in attendance. We really hope you're planning on recording this performance as we think Kevin Costner and Modern West Live At Harrah's Lake Tahoe has the makings of a top notch double live album and a performance that despite our absence we will be able to enjoy for years to come. If not, there's always the next one. In the meantime we'll be enjoying our time on the east coast, waiting patiently for the day you see fit to send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com and enjoying our Kevin Costner and Modern West Long Hot Night Sampler CD while longing for the day you see fit to bring the band to a theater near us. Thanks again for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Twangy Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

p.s. For fans who can make it to the show but don't have tickets yet, click on this link for more information.

Myspacin' With Kevin Costner

Dear Mr. Costner,

When we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" found out yesterday that your band Modern West had it's very own myspace page we were compelled to become your Myspacester. So with little trepidation we logged into our myspace account and requested you as a friend.

At first we were skeptical. We didn't think Modern West would want us as a friend given your so far, frigid response to our repeated friendly advances. However, when we checked our Friend list several hours later we saw the picture below:


It's official. You like us....you really like us. Or at least you Myspace artificially like us solely for the reason that we asked you to like us because we like you. In any case, we feel the situation coming to a head. It's now or never Mr. Costner. Official contact has been made by our two camps. Now that we're myspace friends we can totally leave funny comments on each others comment box and have nonsensical conversations containing private jokes that nobody understands but us. You can even read our Myspace blog that talks about how the entire purpose of this blog is to get you to send a photo of yourself visiting our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. You can leave a comment on there too. Myspace can be like totally addictive sometimes.

However, if you're not much interacting through Myspace (we know Facebook is totally hot now) you can save some time by just emailing us a photo of yourself looking at this blog to djayek@yahoo.com. Nonetheless, Mr. Costner, it's a pleasure to be able to call you and your band our Myspacester even if the pleasure's all on this side of the table. Thanks for your time and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
Your Myspacesters at "If I Blog It They Will Come"