Mr. Brooks...The Game

Dear Mr. Costner,

We're sorry. We didn't mean to be so neglectful of this site over the past week. The fact of the matter is that we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" are in the midst of moving our home office to a space more suitable for attaining our ultimate goal. Our present location is an 11 x 11 windowless enclosure with shag carpeting and paper thin walls that leaves the little to the imagination when it comes to the activities of our neighbors and to be honest, the shag carpeting absorbs good ideas instead of allowing them to bounce off the floor and into our brains.

We don't know what the Tig Productions offices look like but we're sure they're more expansive than our current home. That being said our new digs boast hardwood floors (ideal for bouncing ideas off of and sliding in our socks) and a 15 x 15 space perfect for pacing back and forth. We might even have enough room to dedicate some of our office space to having a competitive Nintendo Wii Tennis center. Unfortunately, we have no Wii. All of the stores near us are out of the gaming console.

The most disappointing part about that is we probably won't be able to play the Mr. Brooks game when it comes out, but maybe when it finally does Wii here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" can convince Nintendo to send us a console so Wii can review it. Now, Wii know there aren't any official plans for a Mr. Brooks video game yet, but as we sat here in our red shag carpet (metaphorical) prison cell over the past week, waiting for you to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com, we were thinking of ways to increase the Kevin Costner brand's visibility. Think about how much fun a Mr. Brooks game would be...players can choose to be either Mr. Brooks, his daughter Jane Brooks, or William Hurt's character Marshall and you can go around trying to decide who to kill. Best of all you can play with or without Mr. Smith in the car. We'd pick without him of course, but you already know how we feel about Mr. Smith. So what do you think, Mr. Costner? Is the idea of a Mr. Brooks game feasible? We know it's violent but not any more violent than Grand Theft Auto or that game that was just banned in Britain...plus it's based on a movie and there's an ever increasing market for games based on movies. If not a Mr. Brooks game, you can just make Crash Davis' Minor League Baseball. Either way...we're buying it.

Mr. Costner, we hope you take our suggestions into consideration as we most certainly have your best interests at heart. Thank you for your time. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Gaming Enthusiasts at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Happy Mr. Brooks Day

Dear Mr. Costner,

Although we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" have been kicking our feet up and catching some rays this week; we have not forgotten what today is. Just in case you've forgotten (and we're sure you haven't) it's Mr. Brooks day! Today your latest film debuts at theaters all across the country, and is destined to break box office records. Though it would be uncouth for us to quote a definitive final gross number, we will prognosticate conservatively and predict that your movie will go on to beat Titanic as the highest grossing film of all time.

Thanks to the good folks at Moviefone we already have our tickets reserved for a Friday evening show at 9pm. As Mr. Brooks is, to us at least, the most anticipated film since The Phantom Menace, our minds are already racing with thoughts of what it will be like to witness for the first time the next Costner masterwork. Will this startling depiction of psychological horror frighten us so much that we might spit out a stray Goober into some lady's perm 5 rows in front of us? It's entirely possible, as we expect your performance to keep us on the edge of our seats, and because we really like Goobers.

While our wait to see our favorite actor tackle his meatiest role yet has come to an end, that doesn't mean the wait for you to respond to our request to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com has become any less important to us. If we've got to champion our cause until Swing Vote comes out then so be it...we're a lean, mean, summer vacationing, blogging machine...and this machine won't run out of fuel until we see that e-mail, Mr. C. Thanks for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Ticket-holding Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

P.S. We are aware that you and William Hurt are playing separate psychological incarnations of the same character in Mr. Brooks. Though we think of him as a fine actor, it's best we clarify that a picture of Mr. Hurt in front of a computer checking out our blog will not be sufficient for our purposes.

Mr. Brooks Music Video

Dear Mr.Costner,

In our ongoing effort to get you to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com we seem to have neglected our duties as the Official Unofficial Home for your upcoming film, Mr. Brooks, at least for this week anyway. We here it at "If I Blog It They Will Come" thought we'd remedy the situation by further assisting with promotion of Mr. Brooks which hits theaters on June 1st (We can hardly wait!). Today as the Official Unofficial Home of Mr. Brooks we are posting this Mr. Brooks Music Video for your fans to enjoy. We got it off of youtube but that doesn't mean we didn't nurture it with tender loving care.
In any case, we hope your fans enjoy this post and we hope every day you are getting closer and closer to actually considering sending us a photo of yourself looking at our blog. We'll be checking our inbox at djayek@yahoo.com for when you finally decide to comply. Thank for your time and consideration. We hope to hear from you soon. Without further ado, the Mr. Brooks Music Video featuring the song "Vicious Tradition" by The Veils.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

A Little Mr. Brooks Inside All Of Us

Dear Mr. Costner,

In the most recent issue of Time Magazine, Richard Corliss wrote an article about good actors portraying villains in this summer's most anticipated movies. To nobody's surprise your portrayal of Mr. Brooks was one of the characters mentioned. You described the title character as someone with an " addiction he's trying to keep under wrap" and that "in life, when we see somebody trying to beat something, we feel sympathy. There's humanity inside this hideousness."

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" can't help but feel that maybe there's a little Mr. Brooks inside all of us. We certainly have some connection to the character as you described him. Not in the way that we also feel like serial killers with alter egos played by an actor who starred alongside Geena Davis in The Accidental Tourist, but more so in that we have an addiction as well. Our compulsion is blogging every week day so that you might feel compelled to visit our blog. It is our hope that you are able see the humanity inside our "hideousness" that comes out in our incessant internet badgering, because the only way for us to "beat" this thing is for you to "feel sympathy" and send a photo at yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com.

Addiction can be a brutal thing, Mr. Costner, but we're sure that through understanding and great care we can beat this thing...together. Thank you for your time and we look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"