Best Kevins Ever

Dear Mr. Costner,

One day ago the folks here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" began what is known as the Kevin Research Project or KRP (not at all related to that famous radio station in Cincinatti with Less Nessman and Dr. Johnny Fever). Our goal was to determine a list of the Best Kevins of all time and arrange them in order of importance. At first glance there didn't seem to be a whole lot of inflential Kevins. Our first pass at the list only managed to dig up you, Mr. Bacon, and Britney Spears' waste of space ex-husband. However, as we delved deeper we found a wealth of influential Kevins. You'll be pleased to note that despite the wealth of accomplished Kevins, you still managed to come out on top on or list. So without further ado, our list of The Best Kevins accompanied by why we think they're special.

Kevin Costner- We shouldn't have to explain this one but aside from being a debonair and inspiring actor-director, we feel as though your cinematic catalogue and the contents of this blog should do for a suitable explanation as to why we think you're the best of the Kevins.


Kevin Arnold- Kevin Arnold is responsible for making an entire generation of kids who grew up in the 1980's think they knew what it was like to grow up in the 60's while simultaneously hanging on to the dorkiest friend anyone's ever had. Though it always struck us as odd that as he grew older his voice never matched Daniel Stern's.


Kevin Bacon- Those college kids made a game out of him about 15 years back and that game still endures to this day, which totally forgives any harm caused by Footloose. "All is well".


Kevin McHale- Despite being called out by Bill Simmons for doing the worst job of any NBA GM over the last 15 years for the Minnesota Timberwolves, Simmons also acknowledges his brilliance as a player. McHale played an integral part on three Boston Celtics championship teams and to this day is known as one of the best Power Forwards to ever play the game.


Kevin Mitchell- A member of the 1986 Championship Mets Squad that will forever hold a place in our heart as the man who scored the tying run in that fateful Game 6 against the Red Sox.


Kevin Macalester- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah. His pre-pubescant use of aftershave turned Home Alone into the 3rd Highest grossing film of all time. You can't argue with results. Unfortunately, it also turned him into Jacko-bait, but that's not his fault.


Kevin Smith- He lost us after Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but Clerks, Mallrats, and Dogma are high up on our Top 100 Films list.


Kevin Spacey- By all accounts a fantastic actor. Many consider him the moder day Jack Lemmon, don't you know. However he has not made the most solid choices since winning Oscars for The Usual Suspects and American Beauty. Maybe they can get him for a No Way Out remake.

Kevin Dillon- He's no longer in older brother Matt "The Flamingo Kid" Dillon's shadow. Has received very good notices for his work on HBO's hit comedy Entourage. Come on--HBO, man! It's not like he's some jackass on a FOX show.


Kevin Youkilis- If you're in a fantasy baseball team this is your guy for on base percentage. Plus he's eligible for several positions.


Kevin Federline- I know what you're thinking, and yes, if this is a year ago this guy wouldn't be on any Kevin list. But, hey, that guy had the smarts to get out of dodge before the head-shaving and umbrella attacking started. Who's the idiot now? Much respect, K. Fed.


Kevin Stevens- Was part of the most formidable scoring lines in recent memory on the 1992 Stanley Cup winning Pittsburgh Penguins and by far one of the most dynamic players on the EA Sports NHL '93 for Sega Genesis. Playing on a line with Mario Lemieux and Jaromir Jagr certainly did not hurt his status. However, what did hurt his status was his addiction to crack which derailed his playing career with the New York Rangers in the 1999-2000 season. How often do you hear of professional athletes getting addicted to crack? That'll knock you down a few pegs.


Kevin Reynolds- Director of such Costner classics as Fandango, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and Waterworld. We know you two have had your differences over the years, but the man brought us many of the best cinematic Costner moments over the years, so for that we must be grateful. We only wished you starred in 187.


So there you have it Mr. Costner, the final product of the "If I Blog It They Will Come" KRP in descending order. We think it will be nearly impossible to knock you off the top of that list unless a Genetically Wnhanced Super Kevin (GESK) is engineered in a lab somewhere. Even then that Genetically Enhanced Super Kevin (GESK) would have a rough go of knocking you off your perch. We're not saying it couldn't happen. It would certainly go a long way towards cementing your place in Kevindom though, if you were to send a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. It's a pretty simple way to secure immortality if you ask us. We can't really see a downside. Thanks for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"