Costner Conspiracy Theory

Dear Mr. Costner,

We're not sure if you're aware of this (and how could you be?), but yesterday's post was written from the distracting confines of our local coffee shop. After our post on Monday, it seems the Internet and Cable provided to the offices of "If I Blog It They Will Come" by the corporate behemoth AOL-Time Warner were experiencing "Technical Difficulties". When we put our heads together we could only think of one explanation for these world wide troubles we were having...CONSPIRACY!!! Yes sir, Mr. Costner, we sniffed out a conspiracy on par with the one in the 1987 film No Way Out, where Gene Hackman's character blames Sean Young's murder on her mystery lover which just so happens to be your character Lt. Cmdr Tom Farrell, when it was Hackman's character himself who carried out the deed all along. Ok, maybe so it's not on par with a governmental conspiracy, but we were convinced it ran up to the highest levels of the AOL Time Warner Corporation.

You see Mr. Costner, it was our theory that once we declared on Monday that we would make Mr. Brooks the highest grossing Kevin Costner opening weekend ever when it is released by MGM on June 1st, the folks at Time Warner would do anything to stop it as they would undoubtedly have a movie coming out the same weekend that they were hoping would take the box office honors. The only way they could possibly hinder our juggernaut was by cutting our Internet service. Lucky for us, we figured out a way around it by heading to the local hipster coffee haunt, a wholly unpleasant experience. There was horrible music blasting and people were talking so loud that we could hardly hear ourselves think.

However, we got our post done and the folks at Time Warner must've realized they'd been defeated because when we returned to our office the Internet was back on and our cable was working. In admission of they're own defeat they had even added Field of Dreams to HBO ondemand for the week.

As you well know, Mr. Costner, victory is sweet and though we take a lot of pride in defeating global supercorporations there is still only one thing and one thing only we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" hold in the utmost importance...and that is getting you to visit our blog and send us a photo of yourself doing so to djayek@yahoo.com. Oh yeah, and giving Mr. Brooks the highest opening weekend box office of any Kevin Costner film is a top priority too. Thanks for your time and consideration, Kevin. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"