The Best of Times

Dear Mr. Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" would like to wish you the best of times this Christmas and of course, a happy new year. You've certainly worked hard enough to deserve our blessing with all of the hard work you've done this year whether it be on stage, screen, for charity at home or overseas for the troops.

Sadly, for us, the Holiday season is not the best of times. Our last few months have been met with repeated failure. With a flagging charity drive and declining readership, we are almost doomed to extinction. We feel like your character Jack Dundee in the 1986 film, The Best of Times. Every post we write feels like we're reliving that big '72 Taft vs. Bakersfield game. Every time we plead for your attention it's as if Reno Hightower is lofting us the perfect pass and each time we are met with an empty inbox we feel like we've dropped the ball.

Well, Mr. Williams, this time is going to be different. We're asking for a figurative rematch of that Bakersfield-Taft game. We see it as an opportunity to breathe new life into the bowels of our souls and raise this blog out of lethargy the way Jack Dundee did with the town of Taft...and we don't need a tiger suit to do it. This is our chance to turn things around. "We're going to blitz like Butkus into the backfield of the future and throw a vicious forearm shiver on the demon ball carriers of the past." Hopefully, when it's all over we'll catch Reno's one last glorious bomb, not with our hands, but with a photo of you looking at our blog, right there in our inbox at djayek@yahoo.com.

So what do you say, Mr. Williams? Are you ready to play ball? If you are, you should know what to do by now. However, we're perfectly fine with you waiting until after Christmas to do so. Thank you for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Revitalized Town of "If I Blog It They Will Come"

p.s. To our readers...don't forget to give to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital this holiday season.

Mistaken Identity

Dear Mr. ROBIN Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" were doing our normal rounds with Internet searches for new RW news when we came upon several similar articles about how you regularly receive phone calls for British pop star and former member of Take That, Robbie Williams.

Quite frankly, we were amazed at this fan faux pas and have no idea how people could ever make such a blatant mistake. However, now that we know there are some people who have made this mistake, perhaps we should state unequivocally that this blog is not aimed at getting a British pop star who has garnered much notoriety through a seemingly narrow body of work to send his photo of himself looking at our blog. This blog is however interested in having the somewhat hairy, yet extremely accomplished star of the stand up stage and screen who spells his name with one B and no E at the end, send a photo of himself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com.

It's Not This Guy

...It's This Guy

Don't get us wrong we have taken a liking to the songs "Millenium" and "Back for Good" but we have yet to see ROBBIE Williams tackle a role on screen with such fervor or with the superior comic intellect and timing as only the one and only you, ROBIN Williams can do; and for that our admiration runs deep.

It had been our fear that a little birdie had come to you and mentioned that something about our operation and perhaps the outrageousness of what we were asking for led you to believe it was just some crazily confused kids asking for Robbie Williams to visit their blog and send a photo of himself doing so, while misspelling his name in the process. So we're here to say, that is clearly not the case. We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" hope this clears up any confusion there may have been on matters concerning our blog. We thank you for your time and consideration and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

P.S. We ask that our readers please donate to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
this Holiday Season or any time of year really, but 'tis the season for giving.

12 Days of Christmas

Dear Mr. Williams,

As you may or may not know (we prefer to think you do), the Jewish Holiday of Hannukah came to a close yesterday evening. We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" celebrated by exchanging our 8th gift, eating potato latkes and watching our fully lit Hannukiyah go down in a blaze of glory for the last time in '07 whilst spinning the dreidl until one of us ended up with all of the Gelt. We had an absolute blast and while we're sad to see one of our favorite holidays come to a close, there is much comfort in the fact that our other favorite holiday is just beginning.

That's right, by our count we have about 12 days until Christmas (give or take), so in the spirit of the 12 days of Christmas, we've decided to list our 12 ideal gifts this Christmas season. However, please take note that we're not going to mimic the song of the same name. We prefer quality over quantity and as such will not be asking for twelve twelves a-twelving and eleven elevens elevening and so on and so forth. So without further ado, please take a look under our Christmas tree at our list of 12 ideal gifts:

12. Toys- Everyone loves toys. The best part about this gift is you can translate it any way you like. You can buy legos, Video games, board games, barbie dolls, etc. You could really go anywhere with that. However, if we were to be given the gift of "Toys" we'd prefer it manifested in the form of a DVD of the 1992 film Toys starring none other than Robin Williams.
11. M-Audio Podcast Factory Professional Podcasting Solution- With M-Audio's Podcast Factory Professional Podcasting Solution almost anyone is capable of being the next Adrian Cronauer (even us). Instead of "Good Morning Vietnam!!!" perhaps you'll catch us shouting , "Good morning, eeeeeeeentire world!"
10. Good Morning Vietnam on DVD- Now that we have your M-Audio Podcast Factory Podcasting Solution, we're going to have to learn to be like the legendary armed forces radio misfit Adrian Cronauer...and what better way to do this than to watch the inspired performance by Robin Williams in this landmark film and directed by Barry Levinson.

9. Peace On Earth- Why can't we all just get along?

8. Goodwill towards man- Is that so much to ask?


7. A Red Ryder BB Gun- "An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time," We swear we won't shoot our eye out.

6. Tickets to that Oprah taping where she gives away all those cool gadgets-
We don't know who you have to shtup to get in the audience that day, but we wouldn't mind shtupping them.

5. Mrs. Doubtfire Behind-The-Seams Special Edition two-disc DVD set- There's plenty here to get our girdle in a twist, with the DVD re-release of one of our favorite RW flicks. The bonus material includes all-new on-camera interviews with Golden Globe winner Robin Williams; outrageous deleted scenes; numerous “on-the-set” featurettes chronicling the production process from casting to costumes and make-up tests. Lest we not forget alternate takes showcasing RW’s remarkable improvisation talents. That sounds like the gift that keeps on giving.

4. Gift Certificate to Circuit City- With a gift certificate to Circuit City we can get any Robin Williams DVDs we don't have yet.

3. Gift Certificate to Best Buy- Y'know, Just in case Circuit City's selection isn't what we hoped it would be.

2. The gift of charity to the wonderful folks at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital- More so than the re-release of Mrs. Doubtfire, the gift that truly keeps on giving.

1. A photo of Mr. Robin Williams looking at "If I Blog It They Will Come" sent to djayek@yahoo.com- This one needs no explanation as it is the entire point of our site.

Well, there you have it...The Official "If I Blog It They Will Come Holiday Gift Wish list." We hope Santa sees fit to slide down our chimney and put most of that stuff under our tree, but if Santa has limited sack space, then numbers 1 and 2 should suffice.

Thank you Santa and Robin Williams for your time and consideration. We look forward to hearing from either of you soon.

Sincerely,
The Nice, Not Naughty Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

Update: If I Blog It Charity Drive

Dear Mr. Williams,

We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" have been trying our hand at this charity drive thing for almost one week now and much to our chagrin it's not going so well. In the 6 days since we announced our charitable intentions we've only managed to garner a measly eleven cents to donate to the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. That is truly a sad state of affairs. It seems the public is more worried about the well-being of a certain pop tart's two children than that of children who actually deserve attention for being in actual danger. Rest assured, we remain steadfastly dedicated to the cause, but we're trying to iron out the kinks to make for a more effective charity drive.

We've surmised that of our #1 issue in the proliferation of funds is a lack of star power, and while this site is aimed at reaching you, the venerable Robin Williams, our charitable post had no visual of you tied to the cause. In our efforts to fix this we contacted the good folks at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in order to get one of those nifty banners featuring your friendly visage imploring us to help the cause. Unfortunately, they could not give us permission to use the banner on our site, but they were more than friendly in offering an alternative as they forwarded us a link to this video PSA:



We think this is a more than suitable replacement for a banner with your smiling face that is sure to garner our little charity drive some much needed attention as it is our belief that every good charity deserves a little attention.

Speaking of attention RW, we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come"would be honored if one day you might feel so inclined to give us at least a wink or a nod of recognition in the form of a photo of yourself looking at our blog sent to djayek@yahoo.com (you don't have to wink or nod in the photo if you don't want to), as a reward for all of the hard work and dedication that goes into this here site.

Until that day we remain dedicated to winning you over through our own means of mimicking your positive energy and humor to make the world a better place. We know you're probably off doing something awesome for charity as we speak, so we understand if you don't have the time to do so. Nonetheless, we thank you for your time and consideration on the matter. 'Tis The Season.

Sincerely,
The Tirelessly Charitable Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

p.s. You can always donate by going to the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital website or just click on our google ads to and any proceeds we make until January 1st will be donated to said charity. However, don't click on that St. Jude banner on the top as we haven't figured out how to get it to link to their site yet.

If I Blog It They Will Give

Dear Mr. Williams,

Now that the Holiday season is upon us, we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" have been blessed with the spirit of giving. The only question is how much can we give and who do we give to? There are so many worthy charitable organizations that we had a hard time choosing just one. We were going to pick a charity out of a hat and after many hours of deliberation we had narrowed our choices down to "Save the Endgangered Fire Ants", "Computers for Well-To-Do Children", and the "Badger Attack Safety Council". While our hearts were in the right place, our brains might have been a little off. We took a moment to reconsider our choices and rearrange our charitable priorities before we made the tragic mistake of contributing to one of those causes, opting instead to seek out a more viable candidate for our donation (the best nation in the world).

We remembered way back to the time we saw August Rush and how the film was preceded by a public service announcement from St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, in which you looked at us with earnest need and implored us along with several other celebrities to help the children who needed it most. We were quite moved, and luckily for us, while we were browsing the Internet, we came across a web banner with your likeness and a similar message in support of the aforementioned charity. It was at that moment we knew that St. Jude Children's Research Hospital was the right charity for our drive. We immediately decided to seek out a St. Jude Children Research Hospital Banner for our site and were finally ready to launch a holiday charity drive of our own.

At this moment "If I Blog It They Will Come" is pleased to announce our Holiday 2007 Charity Drive in which a large portion (probably all) of the proceeds from our will be given to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital. We're imploring all of our readers to click on our google ads so that we may contribute the money we attain from their clickage to help make a better place. While we implore our readers to give, it is clear to us that you, Mr. Williams, have given quite a generous amount to said charity and have served as our inspiration in the matter. We're letting you off the hook as far as that goes and merely ask that you, in the spirit of giving, do us the one favor of sending us a photo of you looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com. It's our one true wish these holidays and it'll also get more people to the site to contribute money to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.

Thank you for your time and consideration on the matter and remember,
'tis the season.

Sincerely,
The Giving Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

(p.s. If you want to give directly to the charity, that's okay, just click on any of the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital links such as this one. We're still working on fixing the banner.

Rockin' Robins

Dear Mr. Williams,

In same vein of this past May's Kevin Research Project (KRP not in Cincinatti)in which we here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" compiled a long list of the Best Kevin's ever,we have been tirelessly working to produce a similar list for what has come to be known as the RRP or Robin Research Project. Through tireless hours of tinkering with scientific research, quadratic equations and complex algorithms we believe we have come up with a suitable list of the best Robin's ever.

So without further ado, a list of the best Robins ever in descending order from most obviously the best to more obviously not quite as good but still admirable enough to be included on a list of Best Robins ever.

Robin Williams- This goes without saying. As one of the most brilliant comedic minds of our generation and one of the most giving. Mr. Robin Williams you are aces at the top of the list.

Robin Hood- Stole from the Rich, Gave to the Poor, was portrayed by Kevin Costner...what hasn't this guy done?

Robin Wright-Penn- Have you seen The Princess Bride? I mean, that's just a great movie. (Toys was also a great movie) Plus, there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world and it would be a pity to have to exclude hers.

Robin Givens- Not only did she spend 1 year in the ring with Mike Tyson, which is more than we can say for Michael Spinks, but she was our favorite character on "Head of the Class" next to Dr. Johnny Fever.

Jackie ROBINson- We here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" know that while technically not a "Robin", Jackie Robinson has made an absolutely essential contribution to the betterment of this great nation, serving as both a cultural and societal icon and as such is named an honorary Robin for having the letters R-O-B-I-N in sequence. We place him ahead of other actual Robins due to his achievements and greatness both on and off the field of play..

Robin Leach- He parlayed knowledge of the Rich and Famous to become Rich and Famous himself...Genius.

Robin Zander- This Cheap Trick Vocalist and Guitarist sure knows his way around a power chord.

Robin Roberts- The Former Sportscenter Anchor and Host of ABC'S Good Morning America. She's quite the welcome sight every weekday morning.

ROBINson Crusoe- We know he's a fictional character but we found the whole living alone on a desert island to be inspiring. Apparently so did Tom Hanks and Robert Zemeckis.

Robin The Boy Wonder- Don['t hold his tiny green underpants and willingness to go by the name "Dick" against him, Robin is a dedicated figher of crime and trusted friend to Batman. He's a dedicated fighter of crime and trusted friend to Batman. He's A.O.K. in our book.

Well that does it for the "If I Blog It They Will Come" list of Top Robins. At no point did we doubt your place at the top of the list (except when put head to head with Costner's version of Robin Hood). We hope you enjoyed our logic behind the list and we also look forward to the day when you are so enamored with our efforts that you might see fit it put us atop the list of best blogs ever. Until then, we'll be waiting patiently for you, Mr. Robin Williams, to send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com.

Thank your for your time and consideration on the matter.

The list-loving folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"

The Tale of August Rush and Opening Day

Dear Mr. Williams,

This Wednesday last, the opening day of your latest film August Rush, one of the principles here at "If I Blog It They Will Come" made it his duty to venture out to the nearest theater to prove his dedication to the cause of getting you to visit our blog and send a photo of yourself looking at said blog to djayek@yahoo.com by catching the very first showing of your latest film. This is his story, told through the power of words and the accompaniment of equally powerful pictures.

It had been an uncharacteristically early morning "awakening" for our hero. He ventured out of his apartment around 10:40 in the morning in the hopes of arriving at the Court Street theater on time for the 11;40 showing of August Rush. He had many hopes and dreams riding on this adventure. The first hope was as previously stated, that he would make it to the theater on time. The 2nd hope was that by some odd chance, the music of the earth and nature around him (as well as the content of the previous day's post) might draw both he and Mr. Robin Williams to that same theater, and the third hope was that he would enjoy the movie. While the first and 2nd hopes would be met with many challenges, he knew the 3rd would result in satisfaction no matter what.

Starting out on Union Street our hero was met with a burst of cold air and a tickle in the back of his throat that suggested impending illness. It was this chill and subsequent tickle that led him to his first detour for a chamomile tea that the cashier dubbed "Fancy Schmancy."

Strolling along with tea in hand. Our hero was encouraged by the signs that seemed to be saying everything would work out just perfect.
This comfort lasted but a few moments as he passed other things that seemed to serve as harbingers of potential horror...

....like this spooky building

... this graffiti

...and this dragon.

Despite all of the discouraging signs our hero marched on past the creaky old drawbridge...

...And over the murky Canal of Gowanus.

He had put his life on the line and felt a hefty sense of relief upon reaching his destination....

...and not a moment too soon. (it's a little blurry but it says 11:22am Wed, Nov. 21)

Our victorious hero celebrated by purchasing one ticket for August Rush.

He was also suckered in to buying the medium-sized popcorn which he realized was entirely too big.

Our hero next took his seat and caught the end of "The Twenty" or whatever they're calling that thing now. There was no sign of Robin Williams in the theater. His 2nd hope dashed he quietly admitted that he hadn't expected that part to come true anyway.
Just then, as he awaited the pleasure of the latest Robin Williams film triumph, he was delightfully surprised to see Mr. Williams on the big screen in an advertisement for St. Jude's Children's Hospital, a cause worthy of everyone's charitable donations this Christmas. It seemed like a good sign.

After many a preview the film began and after a brief introduction to the title character the magnificent title card flashed announcing the arrival of ...

August Rush

Minutes later Mr. Williams appeared as Wizard...the ringleader of New York City's musical version of The Lost Boys of Never Neverland. Wizard was kind of a jerkface but that made the performance all the more impressive seeing as it is a well known fact that Mr. Williams is by no means a jerkface.

Nearly two hours later after many an astounding performance and inspiring musical number, our hero emerged from the theater wishing to express one sentiment and one sentiment only...

THE END

Mr. Williams, Thank you for your time and consideration. We hope you enjoyed our story and you feel compelled to send us a photo of yourself looking at our blog to djayek@yahoo.com . We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,
The Dragon Slaying Folks at "If I Blog It They Will Come"